Contemplating Personal Responsibility
It could be the most powerful thing you will ever do for yourself. What?
Take responsibility for every aspect of your current circumstance. Every last detail.
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
"Are you kidding me?," you might be tempted to say. No. I'm definitely not kidding you.
If no one has yet shared this information with you, whether through something you read, or even in a face-to-face conversation, allow me to be the first. I heard a sales trainer say the one thing he says to his audiences which causes the most uproar is this: "Whatever your current situation, income, housing, bank balance, debt...all of it. It is your responsibility, and yours alone." He said people mumble and murmur, and often get up and leave the room, and don't come back. Interesting isn't it? The rage and indignation that some folks feel when confronted with the idea there is no one outside of themselves to blame for their circumstances.
You can't blame the government, your parents, your friends, your boss, the economy, the weather, your kids...you name it - whatever outside force you may have told yourself is holding you back. It's a lie. Nothing is holding you back. Except, maybe you are.
You might think this is a cruel statement. Unfeeling, without empathy for your hardships, losses and burdens.
On the contrary, I promise you this: if you will take hold of this truth and make it the cornerstone of your life's philosophy, it will bring you into a wide open space - a place where you are free of bitterness, anger, frustration, and a feeling of victimhood that keeps so many people from living full, happy and successful lives.
We must not confuse the words "fault" and "responsibility." I understand the temptation, truly I do. The reason I can say this with such conviction is my own experience. My own experience of looking for something outside myself to blame for things in life that anger, hurt or sadden me. After all, if my situation is someone else's fault, I never have to look at myself and the need that may exist for me to change. If the "thing" (whatever that might be) is someone else's fault, it would naturally follow that it is not my fault. And I feel better knowing it's not my fault. Or at least I tell myself it feels better.
In truth, whether you are at "fault" or someone else is at "fault" is not the issue. Laying blame never accomplishes much, and I would argue that blame is more counterproductive than helpful. In the workplace, for example, and even with kids in the home, no one wants to "take responsibility" for a problem or a mistake...and why is that? Because we seem to all have an instinctive need to avoid blame.
Blame insinuates punishment. Responsibility insinuates empowerment and maturity, and most importantly, responsibility offers a pathway to positive actions which can correct the problem or improve the situation, or maybe even both.
If you look around at your current set of circumstances - relationships, spiritual life, income, job situation, housing, transportation, finances, health and weight - anything and everything you might find wanting - and then say to yourself, "I am 100% responsible for 100% of what is good and what is not good in my life situation...," I can promise you are on the path to a wide open space. Wide open with freedom, and wide open with opportunities.
And as one of my favorite mentors once said, "If you will change, everything will change for you."
Take responsibility for every aspect of your current circumstance. Every last detail.
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
"Are you kidding me?," you might be tempted to say. No. I'm definitely not kidding you.
You can't blame the government, your parents, your friends, your boss, the economy, the weather, your kids...you name it - whatever outside force you may have told yourself is holding you back. It's a lie. Nothing is holding you back. Except, maybe you are.
You might think this is a cruel statement. Unfeeling, without empathy for your hardships, losses and burdens.
On the contrary, I promise you this: if you will take hold of this truth and make it the cornerstone of your life's philosophy, it will bring you into a wide open space - a place where you are free of bitterness, anger, frustration, and a feeling of victimhood that keeps so many people from living full, happy and successful lives.
We must not confuse the words "fault" and "responsibility." I understand the temptation, truly I do. The reason I can say this with such conviction is my own experience. My own experience of looking for something outside myself to blame for things in life that anger, hurt or sadden me. After all, if my situation is someone else's fault, I never have to look at myself and the need that may exist for me to change. If the "thing" (whatever that might be) is someone else's fault, it would naturally follow that it is not my fault. And I feel better knowing it's not my fault. Or at least I tell myself it feels better.
In truth, whether you are at "fault" or someone else is at "fault" is not the issue. Laying blame never accomplishes much, and I would argue that blame is more counterproductive than helpful. In the workplace, for example, and even with kids in the home, no one wants to "take responsibility" for a problem or a mistake...and why is that? Because we seem to all have an instinctive need to avoid blame.
Blame insinuates punishment. Responsibility insinuates empowerment and maturity, and most importantly, responsibility offers a pathway to positive actions which can correct the problem or improve the situation, or maybe even both.
If you look around at your current set of circumstances - relationships, spiritual life, income, job situation, housing, transportation, finances, health and weight - anything and everything you might find wanting - and then say to yourself, "I am 100% responsible for 100% of what is good and what is not good in my life situation...," I can promise you are on the path to a wide open space. Wide open with freedom, and wide open with opportunities.
And as one of my favorite mentors once said, "If you will change, everything will change for you."
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