A funny thing happened on the way...
A funny thing happened on my way to losing weight after gastric sleeve surgery in July of 2015. Me. I happened. The same 'me,' I must confess, that I've been living with for all these years. The me that wants results without the work. The me that bemoans my struggle with obesity, but does not take the doctor's directions seriously.
Yes, that's me.
Oh, I could tell you all about my stress at work, or relationship stressors...you name the outside excuse, I've used it. Bottom line: after losing between 50-60 pounds in the months immediately following surgery, I managed to gain about 30 pounds right back during the course of this past year.
What did it take to finally get attention again? Honestly? I'm not sure I know. Maybe a combination of how my clothes fit, or didn't fit...maybe seeing some other friends do really well caused me to reflect on my bad choices. I decided to watch "My 600-Pound Life" on TLC. Perhaps it's more accurate to say I made myself watch the show. I listened closely to these stories. I listened even more closely to the excuses people make about why they are close to 600 pounds, or even more than 600 pounds in weight. Some have struggled with weight their entire life. Others began struggling when they were teens or adults. It doesn't matter. Our stories are pretty much the same. We use food to cope - with sadness, with happiness, with loneliness, with fear, with shame, with guilt, with joy...yes, joy. It doesn't matter what the emotion. Those of us who eat to a point of obesity are most often eating to cope with life in general. And the addictive patterns you see, read or hear about with drugs and alcohol are virtually the same with food addicts. I can honestly say, more than 80% of the time during this past year when I was eating, and overeating; I was not hungry physically. Not in the least.
Somewhere along the way, the grace of God seemed to grab hold of me - helping me to see that I am that person making the excuses. Not just every once in awhile, but every day of my life. I'm grateful to say the curve in my detour took a positive turn these past few weeks. During this same period, I was suddenly motivated to read The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. I've known many friends to read this book and be inspired by it...those friends had recommended it to me. I wasn't interested.
If the book had anything to do with getting up early in the morning, you could count me out! Once again, I can't even tell you what triggered me to pick up the book. It seemed urgent for some reason. So urgent that I couldn't order it from Amazon and wait to get it, but had to call the local Barnes & Noble to see if it was in stock. It was. I got in the car and went to pick it up - right that moment. I am a complete believer in miracles. Not that Hal Elrod has miraculous power, mind you, but God has used this book to birth the beginning of a miracle morning in me...something I would have thought crazy if you suggested it to me a few months ago.
If you happen to be a person who has had, or might consider having bariatric surgery, I want to also share the most helpful resource I have found, www.bariatriceating.com. These folks do terrific work with straight talk. Many have lost more than 300 pounds and maintained their loss over years, so whatever B.S. we'd like to peddle about why it doesn't work for us, they're not buying it. When you're eating junk and off the doctor's plan, the things they say are like nails grating on a chalkboard. When you come to your senses and realize you need help to get Back On Track, their words are like water poured over parched ground.
I started Contemplative Journey several years ago to blog about whatever topic struck me at a given time...much of it is about my spiritual journey, but not all. As I found myself with a bit of extra time tonight, I wanted to write about the most recent leg in my journey, and share with people who may or may not know me, what I'm learning. Perhaps it will help or encourage someone along their journey, and if it does, I'll be a very happy camper.
Comments
Post a Comment