Contemplating the Valor of Compromise

 

 

I am without question a strong-willed child.  Well, I'm not technically a child anymore, but by gosh, I am definitely strong-willed.  Starting in my late 20s, I began working quite intentionally on the character traits of empathy and compromise. There have been moments when I felt real progress had been made, I can much more easily roll along with the opinions of others, even when I want to go the opposite direction, or feel my understanding of the facts is clearly the correct understanding.

 

And then, there are days like I've had last week and this...when I thought I was being completely reasonable, generous even...and the person on the other end of the negotiation tells me I'm not listening, and never compromise.  What to do with this shocking encounter with another strong-willed person?  Am I correct in my assessment, or is he?

 

When it comes to the rough and tumble world of business ownership, the balancing act of protecting our company and its financial health while also honoring the value of a client relationship can be extremely painful.  Painful emotionally, in the sense that the back and forth becomes wearisome; and painful to the ego when someone expresses a less than complimentary view of my behavior.

 

As I sit here tonight, sharing my yellow inner tuber with a goat, it's tempting to just give in and say, "whatever..."   After all, the client would feel he won the day, and I could be done with the difficult work of negotiation. By the way, negotiating for someone else is much easier than negotiating for yourself...have you noticed that?

 

At 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, the bell will ring and I'll step into the arena for another round of what feels like an endless debate about what's included and what's not included in the deal. It would be easier to say "whatever," or even to say, "no thanks, we'll just pass on the business and let you find another vendor..."    It is precisely this moment when a negotiator must take a deep breath, calm the ego and emotions, and go back to the business of seeking a compromise. 

 

Somewhere between the client's truth and my company's truth, there is a sweet spot.  The good news about being strong-willed?  I will not give up the effort to find the agreement we both need, and hopefully...hopefully, we will all come away from tomorrow's call with an equal measure of victory