Unpacking the Serenity Prayer


The Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This short prayer has been used for many years in 12-step fellowships around the world. For my part, I've been aware of it's existence since the late 1970s, though I can't say that I began to understand it's power until very recently. When it comes to the subject of prayer, people seem to be separated into a few distinct "camps"...those who don't pray at all...those who pray without ceasing...those who pray "in case of emergency", and those who see themselves as experts on the subject. I've come to love The Serenity Prayer for its simplicity, and for its accessibility to anyone...whether they see themselves as a pray-er, or not.

How can we unpack the prayer in a way that can be immediately helpful to us, on an everyday basis? Let's break it into 3 parts:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

What can you not change today? Jot down a few notes about people, circumstances and events that you cannot change. Look at them for a few moments. Allow the idea of accepting what you cannot change to sink in, and take a few deep breaths. Say the first part of the prayer again, with these people or circumstances specifically in mind:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...

Next, let's move onto the second phrase of the prayer:

...courage to change the things I can...

What can you change today? Not tomorrow or next week...and most certainly not yesterday or last year...but today...what can you change today? Can you change another person? Can you change circumstances over which you have no control? No...you cannot. But what can you change? Are there things that you could do differently? Is there something you need to do today but haven't done? Something you continue to do, but would like to stop doing...today? Again, I encourage you to make a short list...not a long list, mind you, because we're only talking about today. As the scripture says, don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow has plenty enough worries of its own...today is all you need concern yourself with for now...

With your list in mind...pray again...

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can.

And finally, the last phrase of the prayer:

...and the wisdom to know the difference.

There's peace to be found in the wisdom to know the difference...releasing that which we can't control, limiting our focus to that which we can do today, and trusting God with all the in-between stuff that remains unclear to us at any given moment in time.




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