Are you "high maintenance"?




I had an "Aha!" moment this morning. I am a "high maintenance" person.



Actually, I've been told for years by friends who are close to me that I am "high maintenance," but I never really got it until this morning. What I mean is this:



I've always thought about being high maintenance in terms of what it meant for other people to be in relationship with me, and never in terms of what it meant for me in terms of self-care. Maybe the concept of self-care is new to you, so let me explain just a bit of what I mean...


As much as we aspire to be unselfish and mature in our relationships with those around us, there is a need for each of us to practice good self-care. There are moments when we need to set boundaries, say "no" to things that are asked of us, and spend time taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whether we realize it on a conscious level or not, the failure to take care of ourselves will reveal itself eventually...coming out as anger, bitterness, or even complete withdrawal from relationships.

Some of us require more time with self-care than others, thus, the term "high maintenance." I'd like to say that being high maintenance is a value-neutral state of affairs, but to be honest, it feels to me like having a high maintenance personality is a sign of weakness. Perhaps that's why it's taken me so long to recognize it in myself, and to realize that it requires I take special care to spend the necessary time and energy to practice good self-care.

We live in a very busy world...most of us...and it's easy to lose touch with the fact that we need time to recharge, to be quiet, and to re-orient ourselves emotionally, spiritually and physically. Oftentimes, the first real sign of trouble is when we find ourselves angry and at odds with those we are closest to...resentful of little things that normally wouldn't bother us at all.

Just for today, take some time to be quiet...to take care of yourself. Whether you're high maintenance or not, you'll feel the better for it.

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