Sitting on the balcony...

I'm sitting on the 4th floor balcony of a condo in Destin, Florida...watching a lightning storm out over the ocean...not exactly like the picture I've chosen tonight, but it's a similar idea...it is a beautiful thing, the ocean. I've always loved it. I've never really understood exactly why this is, but nature seems comforting to me because it makes me feel so small...not in an insignificant way at all, but just small in the scheme of what's going on all around me. Maybe it's because it helps me to see my problems as smaller, I'm not sure.

I am in the midst of an internal debate about the virtue of hope as opposed to the wisdom of resignation...is it better to hold onto hope in a situation where we feel hopeless, or to give in to resignation....how do we know when to do which? As I look back over my life, it seems like it's been a fairly even split between the two, and now...when I find myself wondering what is the right choice, I wish I had paid more attention to how I figured out what to do in the past. It occurs to me that part of the process is tied up with intentionality, and the choices we are forced to make sometimes, even though we might never select the options that are put before us. I read something earlier this week about choices and decision-making...it said that refusing to make a choice is a choice in itself, and I guess that's true enough. Still, if I am forced to choose door #1, or door #2 tonight...I have no idea which way to go. Perhaps if I sit here looking at the ocean long enough, the answer will wash up on the beach, and I'll know...