Making a safe place for someone to reveal their heart...




Today's verse is an especially beautiful one to me, and speaks to a subject that is near and dear to my heart...how to make someone that you love feel safe...and how to create a safe place for someone to reveal their soul...


"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out." -Proverbs 20:5


This verse makes me think of someone who is patient, calm, attentive as a listener, and as a responder...someone who chooses their words with great care and sensitivity, and who knows that sometimes fewer words are better than more.


Parker Palmer talks about our souls being like a wild animal in the forest...hidden in the bush...they are shy, and slow to reveal themselves to anything or anyone that might be a threat to their safety. If you move suddenly, aggressively, loudly...the animal will flee in fear...but if you wait patiently, quietly...the animal might reveal herself...if only for a moment.


The heart and soul of a person are similarly fragile...shy...slow to reveal to anyone or anything that might represent a threat to their safety.


Jim Rohn shares an illustration about the importance of how we choose our words, and I try to remember this example when I speak to people...particularly to someone I know to be shy or in distress...


If someone you know is struggling, you don't approach them aggressively and ask "What's wrong with you??" Instead, with care and gentleness, ask the question, "What's troubling you?"


Even something so seemingly small as the choice of our words can make all the difference in creating a safe place for others. Our words are so very important, and so very powerful. The Proverbs tell us that "life and death is contained in the power of the tongue..." I have quite a long way to travel on the road toward speaking more gently, more kindly...more wisely...but I never tire of these reminders about the power of my words, because I need to be reminded, and the vision of the shy animal in the woods helps me to remember...


If there is a person whose heart you'd like to know...whose burdens you'd like to share...speak gently...and perhaps, don't speak at all...but listen.

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