Moving day...


I went over to my Mom's room last night to pack up her stuff. We're moving her today, to a nursing home that is much closer to my father, and their home. We moved her to Dallas a few months ago, hoping maybe it would be a temporary stay, and thinking that my father would sell their house and move down this direction. Like many things in life, things didn't work out as planned.
Mom can't speak very much anymore, except for perhaps a word here or there...usually though, when I say, "I love you," she can say, "I love you too." My Mom is the kind of person who was always hard to leave.
If we went home for the weekend, or for a holiday, or even just for a short visit at a meal...she always made it extremely difficult to leave...there was always one more thing we needed to talk about, or one more question she wanted to ask. Truth was, she just didn't want us to leave. I sat with her for a few hours last night, and when it got late and time to leave, she generated an energy that had to be from adrenaline, and said "Wait! I've got one more question for you!" As little as she is able to speak lately, a full sentence with such energy was a testament to how strong this habit has become in her over the course of her lifetime. As I have always done, I sat my things down, came back to sit down...and asked what the question was....it was gone...the Parkinson's had stolen it from her mind and from her mouth...
Relationships between parents and kids are complicated, aren't they? In the best of times and the worst of times, we are connected to our parents. When you lose a parent, as my brother and I are right now, it is difficult on more levels than can be explained or even understood. When the parent can no longer communicate with you, while they are still living, the loss is magnified and prolonged. For all of my adult life, my Mom has been reaching for me as a walk out the door, saying, "Wait, I've got one more question for you!" Now, as I sit with her and realize that I can no longer have a conversation with her, or ask questions and get her wise advice, I want to say, "Mom, wait - don't go yet! I've got one more question for you!"












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