Faith




Now faith is being sure of what hope for, and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1




Why do I believe in God? Is mine a faith that is based in certainty? Some would say that faith and certainty, used together in a sentence, is an oxymoron. The very nature of faith involves uncertainty...as the writer of Hebrews has correctly said, "certain of what we do not see." How can we possibly be certain of something we cannot see?


What is the evidence that God is, and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him? When I experienced the deaths of my grandparents, I never struggled with a question about what happens after death...I had a certainty, perhaps borne of youth, that all would be well....that they had gone over to a better place, reunited with family members and friends who had gone before...etc.


Now, some 20 years later, sitting with my Mom, I find these questions coming up within me...what if it isn't true? What if my Mom, who has just passed through a very miserable time of decline, isn't going to a better place, and a happy place?


I don't enjoy these questions...and I don't enjoy the experience of doubt. It is so much more pleasant to simply believe...and it seems more spiritual...though I'm not entirely sure about the "more spiritual" part. There isn't much I can do about it, except to simply stay with it, and hope that what I hope for is true.


Beyond the situation with my Mom, I am trying to find a level of faith for my own life experience right now, because it feels very much like what I was certain of, and what I had hoped for, did not come to pass...and so I'm asking, "What now?" I chose the picture of bright hot air balloons because I wanted something visual to represent what I hope for...a cheerful picture, a brighter and more colorful tomorrow.


It is said that faith is a gift, not something that we can work up within ourselves. And so today, my prayer is for the gift of faith. That somehow, in a place within me that defies explaining, I can be sure of what I hope for, and certain of what I do not yet see.

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